Why So Scared?
09:09
Hello,
How are you? Before I start, let me take a moment to thank you all for being so supportive and amazing. All that love I got from my first post was truly encouraging, and now that I know you are on board with me I feel relieved. I was scared and worried. Scared that what if these people don’t read, what if they don’t share, what if they don’t like it? The list was endless, but thankfully all my “what ifs” have been put to rest.
Let’s get down to why you’re here. Did my last post stir something inside? If it did, then I’m glad but if not… hmmm… I might know why.
Why so scared?
Fear is being afraid of something or someone. It is that feeling you get when you are scared something bad is going to happen and it is a very common feeling. Fear comes in levels and grades, some worse than the others but I’ll start with my fear. Personally I’m scared of failure, scared to try something and not do great at it (take note I said great not good). So scared that I have missed opportunities simply because I didn't try. One day, a friend tagged me on a post on instagram, a radio station was hiring but one of the criteria was that each person would post a video of themself pretending to host a radio show. Ah! I just told my friend, sorry I can’t do it. He said, “Rere, this is exactly your type of thing, just try.” I told him I just wasn’t interested, but I’ll tell you the truth, I was scared. I was scared that I’ll post video on instagram and all my friends and family will see and if I don’t get picked they’ll probably gossip and laugh at me.
Many people (young and old) are so scared of failing that the thought of even taking a step towards their dreams is not even an option. But one thing is certain no one knows how they will end up when they begin. No idea will come out fully formed but as you work on them they begin to take shape and become clearer. You just have to start. There is no one that will say “I have never been scared to fail”. In fact failure can be a drive to success but that only happens if you brace yourself and take the risk. Yes, that failure thing can be demoralizing and demeaning but I have found out that there is no success story without a failure story. Even Uncle Mark said;
“It is good to be idealistic. But be prepared to be misunderstood. Anyone working on a big vision will get called crazy, even if you end up right. Anyone working on a complex problem will get blamed for not fully understanding the challenge, even though it’s impossible to know everything upfront. Anyone taking initiative will get criticized for moving too fast, because there is always someone who wants to slow you down.”
The only difference between you and that person you see as a role model is that, every time the person failed, they tried again and now you are celebrating them for accepting their shortcomings. If you are busy worrying about “people” and what they will say, life will pass by in a flash, and sadly by then your pile of regrets will be so high. You used to worry about what they will say but in the end, you will regret not even trying in the first place.
We live in a society that criticizes and as a result, we do run away from big things because we are afraid of making mistakes. If we complain from now till tomorrow, it doesn’t look like Nigeria will provide the cushion to fall on if we fail. My advice is, cushion the floor and pursue your dreams, if you fall, cry small, wipe the tears and try again.
The reality is anything we do will have issues in the future but that should not keep us from starting. It is time to push our fears aside and try new things. Start that business, marry that guy/girl, go for that master’s program, let the mighty you shine bright.
False Evidence Appearing Real
False Evidence Appearing Real
So what are you waiting for?
9 comments
hmmmm
ReplyDeletefear though!
fear results into "stagnation"
let's kill our fears and make that move.
Nice one baby girl!
P.S- your ass should be whipped for miss such an opportunity
Hi Lade,
DeleteLol, now i realize that I should truly be whipped but that is past. Moving forward, we just have to try to overcome fear, push it aside and keep forging ahead.
Thanks dear.
You just spoke my mind, currently in that situation, and really trying my best to overcome some fears. I am always scared of trying new things, when i even start them am always on one spot, why? Because am thinking of what everyone will say about me, and that hinders me from moving to the next level,because i just give up and forget about it.
ReplyDeleteYes people say am mentally slow, and all but i still believe in myself that one day i will be great.
Always scared of even wearing clothes, why? Cos i think people will laugh at what am wearing and mock me, that is why i would rather keep to myself... Cos i feel no one is to be trusted,because people pretend to have your back but later on what you get in return is disappointment.. But like you said lets overcome these fears, its really not worth it .
I didn't imagine i will be a make up artist or a photographer, yes at the beginning i was scared of doing these things but i tried and i am still trying my best to be able to have confidence in myself, sometimes people call me to take pictures of them and do makeup for them,but i bring up excuses just so i don't go and 'fuck up'...but i realised that i was not helping myself, if you don't give it a try you will continue to see yourself as a failure..instead of looking down on yourself just take a bold step and make sure you be whatever you want to be. You don't need to listen to whatever everyone have to say, some people derive joy in seeing you upset, downcast and demoralised, but put your head high and tell yourself you can do it and you will do it. ONE STEP AT A TIME.
Hi darling,
DeleteThank you for sharing your story, it is truly inspiring. The thing with fear is, it limits our potential. And that's because we are too scared, yes people will talk, but one thing I have discovered is people will always talk. It's their way, it's our way. So ignore all the talks and strive ahead, no one has the right to call you mentally slow because no one is perfect. And darling, whatever you see yourself as is how people will see you. it's time for us to stop missing opportunity because we are scared, there is beauty inside everyone you just have to allow it shine.
Lovely write up Rere.This is one topic that resonates with all ages and knows no borders.Fear is a dis-respecter of everything;age,status & achievements as even the assumed successful celebrities harbor one type of fear or another. Fear, if not purposefully dealt with, can hold you back for years.One of the easy ways to start addressing the fear factor(imo) is to replace the "what if" question with "what if not". Basically just rephrase the negative with a positive, and the POV changes.Once you do this, then reinforce with a dose of faith and you'll be amazed how far that will go.Just my 2cents. Nice job Rere.
ReplyDeleteHello,
DeleteThank you for your comment (it is definitely worth more than 2 cents). I have learnt from this, and henceforth I would rather ask.. What if not? Thanks again.
I'm a big fan, Rereloluwa. Keep doing what you do! I'm proud of you... THE subject you treated is a deep one. The moment we all overcome our fears from the root, we will become totally FEARLESS.. WELL-DONE LOVE!
ReplyDeleteAiyeeee,
DeleteThank you so much Fear Doctor!! I totally agree, and I pray after reading this post many of us will start to re-orientate ourselves. We are the fearless generation.
I'm a fan too ❤️
I totally identify with this topic. Just like you I'm a very outspoken person, I'm also quite shy. I would love to do something that would involve media someday but I'm just so scared. There was a day in sch when i was told to host our dept dinner, but i was sooooo scared. Thank God i was the co host. Cus i just stoood on d sidelines. And when i discovered that the show went on without me, i kuku went to find chair to sit. Lol. Funny thing is I'm the number one "encourager" amongst my friends. I can motivate them with my words for Africa but when it comes to my turn, i just run away. I would love to be a tv or radio presenter someday too but i don't know how to go about it.
ReplyDelete